5 reasons adults need therapy

Why it's not only broken or crazy people that should find a good therapist that can help them begin to unravel neural pathway triggers or traumas that have led them to where they are now.

We've all met someone that's said it. "I probably need therapy, but I'm just not ready for that." Or maybe just as often is the derisive, "Ohhhh, you have a therapist."

Breaking the Stigma

Every time I tell someone that I have a therapist I see the same look on their face. An assumption that I must have a mental health issue or, even worse, just be plain 'ole crazy. I would love it if having a therapist was normalized by now and employers everywhere provided this service to all of their employees. The reality is that this is not how therapy is viewed yet and many people still think that they can't afford it. In a perfect world all of us would be taking time once every week or two to work on all of the past and present experiences that shape our coping mechanisms and habits. In a perfect reality everyone would have the self awareness and the courage to face themselves and do the work required to reach a better version of themselves. One that isn't trapped by past pain and cluttered with battling demons.

Reason 1. We carry trauma in our bodies physically

When we think of therapy we picture sitting or laying on a sofa and venting to a very disinterested professional for an overpaid hour. Leaving feeling unfulfilled and dissatisfied wondering why we even bothered to waste this hour every week. Most people don't realize that there are many types of therapy and some of them focus on the physical as well as the mental and emotional. Somatic therapy for instance, through developing awareness of the mind-body connection and using specific interventions, helps to release the tension, anger, frustration, and other emotions that remain in a person's body from past negative experiences. It's believed by some therapists that physical illness or chronic pain can sometimes be a result of untreated past traumas or unresolved grief and or pain.

Reason 2. You don't have to be mentally ill

Therapists are obviously necessary for people suffering from mental illness, but what about those of us that don't have a mental illness? Even if there is no clinical mental illness present, we all have childhood experiences that are still affecting our adult life today. Even the most "perfect" childhood had experiences that helped to shape how you cope, respond, relate, etc. today. The key to understanding who you are, essentially, is found in therapy and in unpacking those childhood experiences. It's in the study of these events and the pathway they created that you can either rewire that pathway or repair it and move on from it. This applies to the way you are in your friendships, the type of employee you are and your work ethic, your sex life, the type of romantic partner you are, the kind of parent you are. The list goes on.

Reason 3. Boundaries aren't optional

Learning about yourself is important, but equally important is learning what your individual boundaries are. Personally, professionally, and romantically. Without boundaries you are open to anyone and everyone else's emotional baggage and your well being is constantly threatened. Boundaries are less of a precaution and more of a baseline on how you expect to be treated. If we're being honest, most of us either don't have boundaries or don't know how to enforce them correctly. Therapy is exactly the place where you can figure out enough about yourself that you're able to decide what boundaries you need or want.

Reason 4. The mistake loop

Going through the hardest parts of life, making mistakes, hitting rock bottom personally: these are things that everyone goes through. However I believe that all of those experiences of ours, especially the ones that start to become patterns, are teaching tools that God/The Universe/Chaos uses to our benefit ultimately. Some of us get stuck in the loop though. We don't have enough perspective to see the pattern or we start to Victimize ourselves. It's easier to emote self pity and bitterness at "circumstances" rather than taking a hard look at our involvement or lack of and how it created the circumstances. This is another very important reason why therapy is a MUST. Having someone outside of your own circumstance or echo chamber to listen and help make sense of those patterns of behavior, coping mechanisms, poor choices, etc. is the key. Many times a therapist will catch patterns that we're just too deep to even see for ourselves.

Reason 5. Our childhood, good or bad, shapes everything

You read that right. Maybe you had a great childhood. Maybe your parents never divorced and you were lovingly raised in a home with a lot of support and you still find yourself struggling with over eating or have depression. Or maybe, like many people, your childhood wasn't always the easiest. Some of us experienced great trauma or abuse as a child. Whatever your early years were like, one thing remains the same for all of us. Our brains and neural pathways were still forming. A parent that always yelled might not have seemed abusive but just a part of life, but as an adult you find yourself always people pleasing and with a total lack of care for your own feelings...being satisfied as long as no one else is upset. However you really aren't happy and might find yourself consistently in relationships where your needs are never met or worse, with an abusive partner. Either way, this is the MOST important reason that every adult needs therapy...Once you look at those experiences and follow the pathways they created, you'll finally be able to route new ones and find freedom.